Sunday, January 20, 2013

DJANGO UNCHAINED = Not As Boring As Inglorious Basterds

I was just expecting Inglorious Basterds but with different races/times, but instead I saw Leonardo DiCaprio's best performance ever!  Sorry Jamie Fox etc, Leo was totally badass, will not get any nominations for any awards (as per usual in Hollywood) and will go about his merry way dating all the upcoming Victoria's Secret Models and starring in any movie he wants to, for lots and lots of $$$.  Can you blame him?

Silver Linings Playbook = 4 Xanax

Cray + Cray = <3
Is this the first 'mental illness-themed' rom-com?  I dunno, it's the first popular one starring hot actors nominated for Oscars probably, and it's good if you can adapt to the frantic pacing and dialogue.  If this was a documentary it would be about two fat 'fake-handicapped' people chasing eachother around a 24hr. Wal-Mart in mart carts at 3am playing their own version of Supermarket Sweep and trying to score as much swag as possible within their EBT Food Stamps allowance (thanks Obama!), which actually sounds pretty fun now that I think about it.  Instead it's about 2 hot crazy people entering a local, wannabe 'Dancing With the Stars' contest, and there's a football game at stake as well.  The first 30 minutes everyone in the theater was like 'wtf?! let's leave.' and the last 30 minutes everyone was clapping and cheering out loud.  Celebrate mental illness with this wacky love story that only reinforces how easy it is for the most bat-shit crazy straight people to find their soul mate by simply spitting into the air, or gently tossing a pebble in any given direction.  You have it so difficult, but always manage to find eachother in whimsical ways.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Beasts of the Southern Wild = ** 2 stars

If you wanna watch a little girl play in garbage and get yelled at for 90 minutes then you will LOVE this movie.  Otherwise, it's a total snooze-fest.  It's beautifully shot, the performances are good, and absolutely nothing happens.  It feels more like a short film that they decided to just drag out to be feature length.  It's also way over-hyped by critics and advertising so save yourself the time and money and go to the zoo instead, or get flood insurance.