Monday, December 12, 2011

Hugo 3D = A Cinematic History Lesson for 'Those Kids Today'

This is definitely a 'children's movie for adults'.  I like how Scorcese is branching out into film genres other than 'mafia' lately, like horror/thriller with 'Shutter Island' and kids/fantasy with 'Hugo'  I could not figure out how a movie that is set in Paris in old-timey days, heavily features the Eiffel Tower and the Parisian lifestyle, could use an almost all British cast, speaking in various English accents, even the American girl (Chloe Moretz) went British for a film entirely set in PARIS, FRANCE!!!

 This drove me insane from the start, as well as the dumbass straight couple that thought they were seeing 'Dumb & Dumber 5' and felt obligated to preach their ADD/boredom through the entire second half of the  movie (probably because no character had farted yet and that is all they know how to respond to courtesy of Eddie Murphy).  Also the gay couple behind me that thought making a 'sassy remark' after every scene would induce the Sunday night audience of 12 people into fits of hysterical laughter, totally failed.  Guess what, this movie is not a comedy! It's pretty depressing actually.  Also it's a public movie theater, not your living room couch, or the set of 'Will & Grace' so you should kindly SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP!

As for Hugo 3D, I get it.  It's Martin Scorcese's love-letter to the art and history of cinema as well as imagination, creativity and possibility wrapped up in a movie specifically for adults to reminisce.  It's ok, but unfortunately dumbass audiences of today can only process 'duuurrrr this is happy' or 'duuurrrrr this is sad' so if they see a movie like this, their mini-brains cannot compute anything and they go punch and/or shoot an inferior object like a cat or a house plant and rant until the next Chipmunk movie comes out.

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Muppets = It's Not Easy Being Funny

This movie had so much hype and marketing but only cuz Disney bought The Muppets years ago (around the same time they bought Winnie the Pooh i think) and they can market the shit out of the opening of a plastic bag and make us line up to see it at midnight in 3D.  I figured it would be fun and nostalgic but I was kinda disappointed.  Jason Segal & Amy Adams were good but in the end, the script didn't give many Muppet jokes or entertaining scenes.  The songs are great, and they pay lots of homage to the old school Muppet Show but overall this movie left me wanting more.  There are classic songs and new ones like this, which is definitely the best scene & song of the entire movie: (this is an edited version, not theatrical)

Probably because Bret McKenzie (Flight of the Concords) wrote it and whoever called on him for this movie is a genius.  His music/lyrical style suits the Muppets style and balance of humor and heart perfectly.  I expected a lot more overall though.  They spend too much time on the whole 'getting the gang back together' premise and some other sad, sappy scenes and then expect a few weak jokes once in a while to keep it fun.  But those jokes fall flat most of the time and everything is supposed to build up to this Telethon show that isn't so great so you just feel kind of deflated over the whole thing.  I mean there are 1 hour episodes of 'The Muppet Show' that are hysterical, so just cuz it's a new era, doesn't mean we forgot how funny they were.  Kudos to the studio banking on Jason Segal to quarterback a lot of this though, it's good, I liked it, it's way better than most of the garbage movies they try and sell kids today, but I'm an old school fan, raised on Muppets so my bar was set pretty high.  I also have insider scoop that Lady Gaga was booked to do a scene for the finale but the outdoor shoot got rained out that day and they had to postpone to a later date which conflicted with her schedule and it got scrapped.  Would've been cool, since she wore a Kermit dress and brought Kermit as her date to the MTV VMA's a couple years ago so she's obviously a fan.

Here is my favorite song of the Muppets/John Denver album, used to listen to on repeat: