Monday, November 21, 2011

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark = Be Afraid Of No Plot

There IS a plot, but it's full of so many holes you might get a general idea of what's going on, just ignore anything like details or continuity, that stuff.  It doesn't help that the theater I went to is using the new-school 3D projection which causes everything else they project to show up super dark, which most people wouldn't notice.  But I realized there was no way I could complain to the manager that a movie called 'Don't Be Afraid of the Dark' was 'too dark!', and I was 1 of 3 people in the theater, so I weighed that con against the pros (no kids) and let it slide.

Loves me a spooky haunted house movie though!  Good balance of suspense & scares, the fairy/goblins were creepy and violent so they kept the pace going (ps. they are the exact same thing as the 'tooth fairies' in Hellboy 2, just without wings, so they get ghetto points for recycling cgi effects on this one).  The scenarios get kind of repetitive though (stop putting the girl to bed with a night light and a teddy bear when she keeps warning you of all the crazy shit that goes down afterwards!)  Regardless, it was ok, like 'oh it's Saturday afternoon and it's raining and I don't feel like doing anything and this movie just started on Lifetime, and screw taking a shower today or dealing with anyone, I'm just gonna chill the fuck out and watch Katie Holmes deal with some little goblins and do nothing all day', but I expected way more on the creepy/scary scale from Guillermo Del Toro.  Now I'm more interested in seeing the original TV movie that freaked HIM out so much he felt so compelled to remake it. (He didn't direct, just produced, and this release got pushed back a lot of months so that always means problems).

Monday, November 14, 2011

Immortals : Warrior Eye Candy

We've all seen 'The Cell', we've all seen '300'.  'Immortals' is the mashup (director & producers actually).  It has it's moments, good & bad, as in looks good, sounds bad.  Tarsem's style is fun to look at, and the action scenes were really like nothing I've seen before.  But anytime Stephen Dorff spoke I lol'd, cuz the screenplay was pretty dumb (see: "I am a thief...and I will steal your heart") seriously?! These moments felt like I was watching a high school play where they cast the jocks as warriors just because they look the part and they needed to fulfill some creative arts credits, but they just sound stupid & cheapen the whole production.  '300' pulled it off, and 'Immortals' is right up there (while 'Clash of the Titans is trailing, big time). The battle scenes are especially cool (see: dudes getting chopped in half and exploding in slow-motion 3D, kind of amazing), but there are far too many boring-ass, drawn-out dialogue scenes (see: Mickey Rooney chewing on bones, Oracles giving over-dramatic monologues, etc) which kills the pacing of this movie. 'Immortals' is better overall, than 'Clash of the Titans' remake, but could have been way better with some good editing.  'Wrath of the Titans' is coming out next year, so maybe an 'Immortals' sequal will follow to compete?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Hey Y'all!

Welcome to 'BRETTFLIX'!!! I have an epic archive of movie reviews HERE & HERE which is where all this got started.  Now, by popular demand, I am starting this new site to host my ranting movie/tv/music/pop-culture reviews, or anything else.  I hope this shit is mobile phone compatible.  Let's do it!